How aloneness is the secret ingredient that could help you win?
"Aloneness is a state of being whereas loneliness is a state of feeling. It is like the difference between being broke and being poor". – Townes Van Zandt
'Aloneness is not Loneliness'.
So many people walk around this planet tagging themselves as a 'Lonely' Person. What is Loneliness and why everyone fears it so much?
We all have to accept that not every day of our life will be the same kind of day. Every day brings different colours to it. Some days are the supercharged days when we feel high, happy and we feel the positive energy bursting out of us in waves, just like High Tides in the ocean. These are the days when we are thinking 'Life is just Perfect'. And then comes the other ones. The ones that make us feel too low. I would like to address them as Ocean's Low Tides. Surprisingly enough, and I am sure a lot of you might agree with me, that a hell lot of times there may not even be a reason too, to feel that particular way, but yes, we still do. This is the time when we may even start to think of ourselves as an unhappy and a lonely person, and we are continually trying to engage ourselves in finding some happiness externally to raise our vibrations to make us feel good.
Why should you meditate and how it can help you deal with your loneliness? What if I tell you aloneness is the secret tip to happiness?
In 2014, I went through one of the traumatic phases of my life. Everything just fell apart. Pretty much, all my days were the Low Tide days. I went through them one by one thinking there is definitely more to life than this because this can't be the way. It was as if something was trying to talk to me or convey me a message "if at all I was willing to listen".
Craving to learn more about how and why the colours of life keep changing, I started meditating which opened my doors to a brand new journey. Meditation made me understand the difference between loneliness and aloneness. I started becoming more and more mindful of everything that I was doing, and I realised that all the answers that I was always seeking all this while were just here...just right here within me. I was the only one who wasn't listening or maybe I didn't ever want to listen?
What I use to call as 'being Lonely', at one stage became a blessing. The empty space that I had in my own time made me start my internal search, and I got some answers that were nowhere possible for me to hear in the constant busy-ness that I was always in.
So what are those 'not so good days' and what can we do about them?
Soon after days of my meditation, and as I was slowly diving into my own space, I realised why some days felt high and some so low. I noticed what was it that my soul was calling for and what exactly was needed to be done.
In my opinion, those low feeling days are the days when your soul is most desperately trying to talk to you. As if it's trying to scream and say that ‘I am here! Please listen to me’. All you have to do, is pay attention to that voice. Unless you hear that voice, you won't ever get the message.
"Aloneness is a state of being whereas loneliness is a state of feeling. It is like the difference between being broke and being poor". – Townes Van Zandt
'Aloneness is not Loneliness'.
So many people walk around this planet tagging themselves as a 'Lonely' Person. What is Loneliness and why everyone fears it so much?
We all have to accept that not every day of our life will be the same kind of day. Every day brings different colours to it. Some days are the supercharged days when we feel high, happy and we feel the positive energy bursting out of us in waves, just like High Tides in the ocean. These are the days when we are thinking 'Life is just Perfect'. And then comes the other ones. The ones that make us feel too low. I would like to address them as Ocean's Low Tides. Surprisingly enough, and I am sure a lot of you might agree with me, that a hell lot of times there may not even be a reason too, to feel that particular way, but yes, we still do. This is the time when we may even start to think of ourselves as an unhappy and a lonely person, and we are continually trying to engage ourselves in finding some happiness externally to raise our vibrations to make us feel good.
Why should you meditate and how it can help you deal with your loneliness? What if I tell you aloneness is the secret tip to happiness?
In 2014, I went through one of the traumatic phases of my life. Everything just fell apart. Pretty much, all my days were the Low Tide days. I went through them one by one thinking there is definitely more to life than this because this can't be the way. It was as if something was trying to talk to me or convey me a message "if at all I was willing to listen".
Craving to learn more about how and why the colours of life keep changing, I started meditating which opened my doors to a brand new journey. Meditation made me understand the difference between loneliness and aloneness. I started becoming more and more mindful of everything that I was doing, and I realised that all the answers that I was always seeking all this while were just here...just right here within me. I was the only one who wasn't listening or maybe I didn't ever want to listen?
What I use to call as 'being Lonely', at one stage became a blessing. The empty space that I had in my own time made me start my internal search, and I got some answers that were nowhere possible for me to hear in the constant busy-ness that I was always in.
So what are those 'not so good days' and what can we do about them?
Soon after days of my meditation, and as I was slowly diving into my own space, I realised why some days felt high and some so low. I noticed what was it that my soul was calling for and what exactly was needed to be done.
In my opinion, those low feeling days are the days when your soul is most desperately trying to talk to you. As if it's trying to scream and say that ‘I am here! Please listen to me’. All you have to do, is pay attention to that voice. Unless you hear that voice, you won't ever get the message.
Why should you meditate and how it can help you deal with your loneliness? What if I tell you aloneness is the secret tip to happiness?
In 2014, I went through one of the traumatic phases of my life. Everything just fell apart. Pretty much, all my days were the Low Tide days. I went through them one by one thinking there is definitely more to life than this because this can't be the way. It was as if something was trying to talk to me or convey me a message "if at all I was willing to listen".
Craving to learn more about how and why the colours of life keep changing, I started meditating which opened my doors to a brand new journey. Meditation made me understand the difference between loneliness and aloneness. I started becoming more and more mindful of everything that I was doing, and I realised that all the answers that I was always seeking all this while were just here...just right here within me. I was the only one who wasn't listening or maybe I didn't ever want to listen?
What I use to call as 'being Lonely', at one stage became a blessing. The empty space that I had in my own time made me start my internal search, and I got some answers that were nowhere possible for me to hear in the constant busy-ness that I was always in.
So what are those 'not so good days' and what can we do about them?
Soon after days of my meditation, and as I was slowly diving into my own space, I realised why some days felt high and some so low. I noticed what was it that my soul was calling for and what exactly was needed to be done.
In my opinion, those low feeling days are the days when your soul is most desperately trying to talk to you. As if it's trying to scream and say that ‘I am here! Please listen to me’. All you have to do, is pay attention to that voice. Unless you hear that voice, you won't ever get the message.
Practice sitting with yourself, even if you start small.
These Low Tide days are the ones when you need to sit with yourself and observe yourself the most.
These Low Tide days are the ones when you need to sit with yourself and observe yourself the most.
Talking to yourself and analysing what is it that your soul wants to tell you, will answer all the questions that you are seeking to be answered. The biggest problem with most of us is that we are repetitively looking for answers outside, but in reality, all the answers lie inside, and they will all just come once we become silent.
The external noise puts a block to the sound of our soul and stops it reaching our ears. By external, I do not mean the traffic noise or the music or the people talking. Most of the times, the external means the constant mind chatter that just does not let us hear our soul. Our soul is always trying to communicate with us. The reasons for feeling low maybe many, varying from missing a past relationship or missing some other social goodness in life or maybe it's your career that's bothering you, or it could be anything else. But these are the days when you must, most importantly, do nothing, but to just sit with yourself and give yourself your most deserved company.
Allow yourselves time and space to heal.
Unless you start to spend time with yourself and allow that empty space to heal you, you will always call this space loneliness. Allowing yourself to love your own company is the first step to win and conquer over your own world. Once you are happy with your own company, you will realise how much peace is in there and what kind of magic it does to you.
"Solitude is dangerous. It's very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It's like you don't want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy" - Jim Carrey
Why Sit alone? Wouldn't it be called 'Loneliness'?
No, sitting and making friends with yourself is not called loneliness. It's called 'aloneness', and aloneness is a very different word than loneliness. Aloneness is positive, and Loneliness is negative. Yes, without doubt, occupying ourselves amongst people or going out with a friend for a quick coffee might be refreshing for a little while but Hey, we have to accept that the moment we are just alone again, the thoughts will start haunting us again.
Make your solutions Permanent.
Temporary solutions will never give us permanent peaceful experiences. I don’t believe in quick fixes. I believe we must go to the roots deep down there and pull it off one by one from the root. Just plucking, plucking and constant plucking from the top surface is not going to give you a permanent solution.
And those solutions that aren’t permanent doesn’t bring much goodness and joy into your life. Make your solutions unbreakable and the ones that stay forever.
“Temporary solution is a quick fix. Make yours an unbreakable one — Make it Permanent”. — Kajal Soni
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The only way to get through your low days is by loving that empty time and space when you are sitting in our own company. If you fear it, then once and for all face them gracefully. Accept your fears and look into its eyes and they will stop scaring you anymore. Trust me; once you fall In love with yourself, you won't want the temporary society fixes to bring happiness into your world. And once you win your own world, you have the recipe to conquer anything that you aim for.
Allow yourself to be in your self-love vibrations, and everything external will automatically follow.
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WRITTEN BY:
Kajal Soni
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